So last Saturday night, on the eve of my 30th birthday (wow, it still feels so weird to say that), I sat in my bed scrolling through Facebook and iTunes as I normally do. Earlier in the evening I had heard Pink's "Glitter in the Air" for the first time and was just like, damn that song is so good. So I went home and downloaded it. Then I asked myself if I had done at least half of the things she had mentioned in her song. I must have. I know for sure I have at least thrown a fistful of glitter in the air. But that song just made me reflect on my 30 years on this place we call Earth. What have I done? What haven't I done? What do I want to do?
For a couple of hours I sat in bed watching the clock creep slowly into the early morning hours. I was briefly filled with melancholy. Feeling sorry for myself that suddenly I was so much older than I felt. Completely at a loss. Feeling like, what the hell. I should be able to at least control nature and stay forever young, right?! But alas, that is not the case.
So right back to iTunes I go. As we all know this phoenix finds his solace in music. Always have, and always will. I started to think about how I'm planning a music video for my first single "Sweet Dreams". So I decide to watch some music videos. I watch a few, including Pink's "Glitter in the Air" live at the Grammy's a few months ago. She was powerful, beautiful and commanded all the attention, sing while flying in the air. It was crazy cool. I was like, I wanna do trapeze. Yeah, definitely, trapeze! Then I come across Katy Perry's video for "Firework". I have the album, I like the song. But the video brought me to an even lower melancholy but at the same time sent my heart, imagination and hopes soaring. Such a simple video, it brought me to tears. It seemed to capture the essence of my melancholy and then answered me like a slap from your mother on the back of the head.
Read the lyrics here: FIREWORK Lyrics
Watch the video here: FIREWORK Video
I am a firework too. A burst of energy that once flashes in your eyes leaves a colorful memory. And you want to see more. :-)
So, I went to sleep contemplating how I was going to be a firework and glitter in the air swinging on the trapeze of life. I woke on my birthday ready. Just ready to do whatever. I hit a milestone. Thats all. A strong powerful milestone. Nothing to be ashamed of. I had survived thus far and amd folling my dreams. I have a pool of photos and memories to remind me where I've been and where I've come from. And you know what?! I'm ok. I'm more than ok. The day seemed to fly by and then it was birthday dinner time, which turned out to be the biggest surprise party of my life. I cried when I walked into the balloon infested room full of all the people who had and still love me since I was a toddler to now. Through my tears I saw the perspective. I saw the possibilities and the love.
I am blessed and should only have things to look forward to. So while I sing and record and follow my dreams, I will also make a bucket list like so many before me have. And I will achieve them all. Hopefully before my next milestone. LOL Stay tuned for the list....
In the meantime, be a firework. Be glitter in the air. Be whatever you want, but live life to the fullest and go forth! Pick up your bucket and run with life!
